a year in the life of waffles

I’ve been absent from here for a bit as I’ve been working so much I haven’t even had time to cook. Waffles has had an adventurous couple of months, during which he’s destroyed part of a Harry Potter book, two bras, and three separate cones.

His first birthday was in May, and in honour of it I give you an obnoxious number of pictures of his first year of mayhem.


Below are some of the many pictures we have of Waffles being cute and sometimes ridiculous.

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Look at this little shit.

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His mini-hammock under my actual hammock. He claimed it the second we opened the box.

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We fed him five minutes late once.

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Waffle’s first lesson in not jumping into things when you don’t know where the bottom is.

If you couldn’t tell, we used to leave him in the kitchen when we weren’t home because we didn’t want to crate him all day. This has long since stopped for his health and our sanity (and our wallets). I swear we didn’t let it continue for nearly as long as it looks – this is a couple of weeks’ worth of damage.

So as punishment, we neutered him (no not really, but he did start getting crated pretty quickly). Here he is giving up on life. Yes, he destroyed that cone later.

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The many forms of a sleeping Waffle:

As you can see, he’s pretty flexible with his definition of “comfort.”

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This one time, Emma tried to bury him. My god he was adorable, I don’t know where all this animosity comes from. She acted like he was going to ruin her life.

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She may have had a point.

And finally, I give you the day we brought him home. Look at him, chewing on his little duck like a harbinger of the monster to come.

Today, Waffles is healthy and happy (although not currently, because I’m writing this instead of feeding him), and has not consumed anything he shouldn’t have in about a month! Here he is on Halloween (yes, his costume was a pink bow; yes, I am a lazy costumer; and yes, my floor was unconscionably muddy – this is what happens when you have two dogs and no grass) and today, staring up at me waiting for his dinner.

My goal for this blog for the upcoming year is to start reviewing toys for durability and enjoyability. I want to find toys that work and can stick it out for more than 30 seconds while still being unlikely to break your dog’s teeth.

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Toy Review: Trybal from Pet Projekt

I was picking up pet food today and stopped in the toy section, hoping to see if someone (anyone!) has started making more durable toys. This is the toy I found. It’s hollow but made of pretty solid rubber (I couldn’t squish it with my hands).

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Emma was also interested, but the delicate little flower won’t bite hard enough to squeak a stuffed toy, so the concept of chomping on a toy this hard is completely beyond her.

I had some highish hopes for this one. Waffles did too.

20150618_123418 Sadly, those little corners on the ridges are prime targets for chewing on. He had a corner dismantled inside 30 seconds.

For what it’s worth, this toy would likely be okay for moderate chewers or non-dinosaur hybrids of dog. It really is pretty solid. As always, supervise play first so you can find out if there are any weaknesses to the toy.

I think this toy could be improved by making the ridges continuous so the corners aren’t so thin. Narrow protrusions on these toys are pretty likely to get ripped off easily. They do have a pretty big 20150618_123453selection on their site, so there might be a toy like that already, but I didn’t have time to look through all of them.

Check out Pet Projekt for more toys and what looks like an awesome leash for the SQUIRREL! walkers out there.

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rest in pieces

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He stole these from the very back of the counter when he was about six months old.

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No, I don’t know where the rest of the cup is. We found pieces of the green one but I’m pretty sure he ate the rest of the other cup.

The Mighty Kong Falls

Anybody with a destructive dog has heard it: “Have you tried Kongs? They make them for heavy chewers!”

Yes. Yes we have. And we all really do know that you mean well by suggesting this, but it’s kind of like suggesting “have you tried closing the gate” to somebody complaining that their dog runs away.

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This is the Kong Extreme.

KONG Extreme represents the most durable version of our original KONG toy. The ultra-strong, ultra-durable, black rubber compound is recommended for the most powerful chewers.

Well then.

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This is the result of approximately seven minutes of attempting to get peanut butter out of it. I have to give it to him that he found the most direct route to his goal. Granted, we suspect that Waffles is actually part dinosaur, so I don’t hold it against Kong. They tried.

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20150118_162708Waffles has a deep sense of irony. I’m reluctant to use this card sometimes because it almost seems like I planned this out, but this is the first thing he chewed when we first got him, and my first lesson in No, You Can’t Just Go To The Kitchen For Thirty Seconds.